Funny

Awesome 1980s Commercials that Helped Define a Generation

Reagan was president, hair was huge, and neon was king! The 1980s are a decade that was full of abundance, success, and booming business. Kids who were raised in the 80s were privileged to have TVs in nearly every home. Besides MTV, incredible special effects, and 24-hour news channels, commercials were probably the best thing to watch!

All kidding aside, the catchphrases and images of commercials from the 1980s have permeated the culture of America for decades now. People from GenX cannot think of the commercials we list here without some fond memories of their totally tubular childhoods. Time to sit back, enjoy, and reminisce about some totally gnarly times.

Awesome 1980s Commercials

“Where’s the beef?!?” (Wendy’s, 1984)

This is Wendy’s ultimate roast of its competitors! At 4’10”, his little old lady didn’t beat around the bush when it came to what she wanted. People in the 80s knew that bigger was better and Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy’s knew it. A whole series of commercials with Clara Peller asking this question sure made her a lot of money and sold a lot of burgers.

“Milk: It Does a Body Good!” (America’s Dairy Farmers, 1985)

Today, everyone knows the milk slogan of “Got Milk?” 80s kids had it drilled into their heads that milk was really good for their bodies. A series of ads that lasted into the 90s was kicked off by this commercial. According to the ad, milk makes you grow, become an astronaut, and magically make kangaroos talk! I hope you don’t believe everything you see on TV…

“I Don’t Wanna Grow Up! I’m a Toys ‘R’ Us Kid!” (Toys “R” Us, 1982)

Jenny Lewis, Jaleel White, and Lindsay Price were three kids who grew up to have careers in the entertainment industry. They all appear together here in this Toys “R” Us commercial from 1982. Can you spot them? The jingle was undeniably cute and impossible to forget. It ran in the toy store’s commercials through the early 2000s. What makes it even more emotional for many is the fact that the toy store giant eventually closed all its stores by 2018. Their stores may be gone, but their jingle will never be forgotten.

BONUS: For even more fun, below the first video here, you can watch the commercial remake from 1992 that brought together the original cast all grown up to remake the scenes of the original commercial. Super cute!

Sponsored by BricksNStuds.com – Lego Castle Sets

“Adopt a Cabbage Patch Doll” (Coleco, 1983)

Originally named “Little People” Cabbage Patch dolls blazed into the world of toys in 1983. Just like we do for iPhones today, toy store customers would wait for hours outside toy stores just to buy one! They were each unique, had the inventor’s (Xavier Roberts) signature on their butts, and could be “adopted.” Kids loved them! Over the years, they gained the ability to be posable and had accessories galore. Cabbage Patch hysteria was truly crazy. One doll went up into space, NASA named an area of Mars “Cabbage Patch,” and the US Postal Service put one on a stamp! Prices began in the 80s at $30, but quickly rose to $50 and now some are worth up to $1,000!

“Pepsi: The Choice of a New Generation” (Pepsi, 1984)

Michael Jackson was known as the “King of Pop,” so he was the perfect entertainer to include in pop commercials. The jingle in this video is also an altered cover of Jackson’s “Billy Jean.” Michael ended up doing several commercials for Pepsi with this new catchphrase, but this is the only one that includes all of Michael Jackson’s brothers. Can you recognize the dancer in the red jacket? Yep! It’s Alfonso Ribeiro from the 90s hit show, “Fresh Prince of Bel Air.” So now you know he wasn’t just good at doing “The Carlton.”

“Grey Poupon: Pardon Me” (Heublein Co., 1981)

The high-class image of this mustard has made it the fodder for many jokes and parodies since it first entered the US from France in the late 1970s. When the advertisers saw that people chuckled at the ads, they began to create more ads that catered to the funnier side of the hotty totty image of the mustard. This is one of the earliest commercials.

“Double Your Pleasure” (Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum, 1985)

This is the Doublemint Gum jingle that got stuck in everyone’s head in the 80s. With all the “cheese” in their commercials, you’d think they were selling cheddar or something, but the product having this jingle worked. The company used the song and the twin theme throughout the 80s and it worked. Just ask any 80s kids about the song & they’ll be able to sing it for you off the top of their heads!

“Thanks, I Needed That” (Mennen, 1986)

The advertisers appealed to the annoyance men experienced with aftershaves of the past. Most tended to be harsh on skin, so Mennen found a way to show men how they would feel after putting on their product. “Thanks, I needed that,” became the catch phrase for Mennen’s line of aftershave, but the “by Mennen” jingle right at the end became part of every commercial the company produced. That’s what people remember…well…besides the guy with that breeze blowing in his face in the bathroom. I don’t know about you, but I’d freak out if a breeze blew at me from my bathroom mirror!

“Fast-talking John Moschitta” (FedEx, 1981)

This commercial helped to kick off the career of “Motormouth Moschitta” and popularized the catchphrase of “When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.” The Marine Corps later spun off of this catchphrase when it began using another version of it, “When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight.” Only the 80s kids will know the origins of this Marine’s saying.

“A Little Longer” (Big Red Gum, c.1987)

Many of you may still remember the song in this commercial. After all, it ran for 15 years! Everyone wants to have fresh breath and Dentyne was the market leader when this Big Red Gum campaign hit the small screen. By 1987, this jingle was in our heads and Big Red was in our mouths.

*Do you see the cameo in this commercial? Hint: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”

Honorable Mentions

Here are some others that may make you chuckle and bring back some good ol’ memories:

Funny

Best Bad Dad Jokes

bad dad jokes - dad and son look in the mirror and laugh. dad shaves, son jokes with shaving foam

Cars

“Why was the car red? It saw the traffic jam and it just blew a gasket.”
“Why did the car go to the doctor? It had a flat tire.”
“What do you get when you cross a car with a duck? A vehicle that quacks.”
“Why did the car keep getting into accidents? It had a reckless driver.”
“Why was the car cold? It left its windows open.”
“What do you call a car that’s on fire? A burning automobile.”
“Why did the car break up with its owner? They were driving in different directions.”
“Why was the car sad? It was tired of being driven around in circles.”
“What do you get when you cross a car with a sheep? A woolly ride.”
“Why was the car feeling blue? It needed a tune-up.”

Dating

“Why was the computer cold on its date? Because it left its Windows open.”
“Why was the math book unhappy on its date? Because it had too many problems.”
“Why was the calendar popular? Because it had a lot of dates.”
“Why was the phone feeling depressed? Because it had no one to call.”
“Why was the paper clip unhappy? Because it was feeling paper thin.”
“Why was the rubber band unhappy? Because it was feeling stretched.”
“Why was the clock unhappy? Because it was tired of ticking.”
“Why was the pencil unhappy? Because it had no point.”
“Why was the cheese unhappy? Because it was feeling grated.”
“Why was the light bulb unhappy? Because it was feeling burnt out.”

Sad/Depressed

“Why was the spinach sad? Because it was feeling leafed out.”
“Why was the tomato sad? Because it was feeling ketchup.”
“Why was the banana sad? Because it was feeling peeled.”
“Why was the apple sad? Because it was feeling cider.”
“Why was the pear sad? Because it was feeling pear-ed.”
“Why was the mushroom sad? Because it was feeling fungi.”
“Why was the watermelon sad? Because it was feeling melon-choly.”
“Why was the carrot sad? Because it was feeling down in the dumps.”
“Why was the onion sad? Because it was feeling peeled.”
“Why was the broccoli sad? Because it was feeling floret.”
“Why was the therapist unhappy? Because he was feeling depressed.”
“Why was the antidepressant unhappy? Because it was feeling down in the dumps.”
“Why was the umbrella unhappy? Because it was feeling drained.”
“Why was the pillow unhappy? Because it was feeling depressed.”
“Why was the piano unhappy? Because it was feeling low key.”
“Why was the calendar unhappy? Because it was feeling blue.”
“Why was the computer unhappy? Because it was feeling downsized.”
“Why was the shoe unhappy? Because it was feeling down in the heel.”
“Why was the couch unhappy? Because it was feeling sofa so low.”
“Why was the TV unhappy? Because it was feeling screen depressed.”

Pirates

“Why was the pirate such a bad singer? Because he always hit a flat note.”
“What do you call a pirate’s favorite flower? A plunder-anthem.”
“What do pirates use to fix their ships? Pirate-tape.”
“Why couldn’t the pirate play music? He was tone deaf.”
“Why did the pirate’s phone have a lot of seaweed on it? It was a seaweed phone.”
“What do you get when you cross a pirate and a snowman? Frostbite.”
“Why was the pirate such a good dancer? Because he had rhythm and booty.”
“What do you call a pirate’s favorite fruit? A pear-ate.”
“Why did the pirate go to therapy? He had a lot of high seas and low blows.”
“Why couldn’t the pirate use his computer? He had a buccaneer block.”

Geology

“Why did the geologist break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a fault.”
“What did the geologist say to the rock? “Don’t take it for granite.”
“Why was the geologist always calm? Because he had a lot of sediment.”
“What did the geologist say when he found a rock that was really hard to classify? “I’m stoned.”
“What did the geologist say when he discovered a new mineral? “I’ve hit rock bottom.”
“Why did the geologist get lost in the desert? He was in a sand-storm.”
“What did the geologist say when he found a fossil? “It’s a million years old, and it’s a piece of cake!”
“Why was the geologist’s birthday party such a hit? It was a rockin’ good time.”
“What did the geologist say when he found a rare crystal? “I’m crystal clear on this one.”
“Why was the geologist’s office always cold? Because it was below earth’s crust.”

Homework

“Why couldn’t the student finish his homework? Because he was too exhausted from procrastinating.”
“Why was the math book unhappy? Because it had too many problems.”
“What do you get when you do your homework in the forest? Homework-trees.”
“Why did the student bring a ladder to school? He wanted to get to high school.”
“Why was the student’s computer cold? Because it left its Windows open.”
“Why did the student bring a red pen to school? In case he needed to draw blood.”
“Why was the student’s history paper so good? It was written in the present tense.”
“Why was the student’s report card blank? He forgot to turn in his homework.”
“Why was the student’s science project a failure? Because it was an experiment gone wrong.”
“Why was the student’s essay long? Because it had a lot of footnotes.”

Chores

“Why was the broom late? Because it swept in.”
“Why was the dishwasher unhappy? Because it was feeling plate-d.”
“Why was the vacuum unhappy? Because it was feeling sucked dry.”
“Why was the laundry basket unhappy? Because it was feeling drained.”
“Why was the mop unhappy? Because it was feeling wrung out.”
“Why was the house so clean? Because the owner was dust in his tracks.”
“Why was the yard so tidy? Because the owner was on a roll.”
“Why was the garage so organized? Because the owner was in high spirits.”
“Why was the kitchen sparkling? Because the owner was a clean freak.”
“Why was the bathroom spotless? Because the owner was a wash out.”

Losing

Why was the runner disqualified from the race? He lost his sole!
“Why was the basketball player sad? Because he lost his hoop-ortunity.”
“Why was the baseball player sad? Because he lost his bat-itude.”
“Why was the football player sad? Because he lost his touch-down.”
“Why was the soccer player sad? Because he lost his kick.”
“Why was the golfer sad? Because he lost his swing.”
“Why was the tennis player sad? Because he lost his serve.”
“Why was the racecar driver sad? Because he lost his lap.”
“Why was the swimmer sad? Because he lost his stroke.”
“Why was the ping pong player sad? Because he lost his ping.”
“Why was the chess player sad? Because he lost his knight move.”

Reading

“Why was the reader’s nose always in a book? Because he was a book snob.”
“Why couldn’t the book stand up on its own? Because it was too pages behind.”
“Why was the book late? Because it was stuck in the pages.”
“Why was the book cold? Because it left its chapters open.”
“Why was the book sad? Because it was feeling bound down.”
“Why was the book wet? Because it was crying over spilled ink.”
“Why was the book angry? Because it was feeling bound up.”
“Why was the book anxious? Because it had a lot of pages to turn.”
“Why was the book tired? Because it was feeling page-worn.”
“Why was the book confused? Because it was feeling chapter and verse.”

Music

Why was the musician arrested? He was caught bass handling.
Why was the guitar teacher suing the student for payment? He claimed the student was playing a string of excuses.
Why was the singer kicked off the stage? He was off key and off pitch.
Why was the drum set in the bakery? They were beating the dough.
Why was the singer who swallowed a microphone feeling fine? Because the sound was all right!
Why was the musician always calm? He always took a rest on the bass line.
Why was the musician’s family so poor? They all had a lot of bass guitarists.
Why was the musician’s pet python called “Slinky”? It was always winding down the scales.
Why was the musician’s piano so small? It was a mini-ature piano!
Why was the singer’s garden full of weeds? He had a green thumb, but not a green voice.
Why was the musician’s bread always burnt? He always left it in the oven to rise.
Why was the musician’s daughter not allowed to play the piano? She kept hitting all the wrong notes.
Why was the musician’s phone always busy? He was always on call waiting.